In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
