Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
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I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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