I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
