your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
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