Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize