Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
