We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
