He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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