none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
