I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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