is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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