she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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