I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
