i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
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I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
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I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize