We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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