Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just forgot I was standing up.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
