I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
