I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
