I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
