He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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