I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
