sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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