I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
