doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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