his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
