Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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