I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize