If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
