Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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