Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
