I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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