the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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