a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
