I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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