he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
