it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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