i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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