PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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