she smelled like a LAN party
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
