Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.