Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.