his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.