This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize