I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize