I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
