oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
