And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
