I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize