at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
last night I used snow as a chaser
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