i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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