I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
