I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
