then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
i am craving dick and cupcakes
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
