no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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