I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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