the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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