I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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