I want to make a zoo with you.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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