I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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