Dual....:-)
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
