Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
