tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
