She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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